| this week is finally over.......
its been like a dreammmmmmmm...
ok still rmb the 1st time i heard that the essence ladies are coming..
omg i was like SUPER DUPER excited
i mean seriously.. i've been following gigi's youtube for like YEARS...
n hv loved like every single one of them.. so to hear the fact that she's actually COMING to this tiny city of hk.. wow.. so freakin excited!!!!
so yea.. day 1.. walked into the studio... with like HEAPS of ppl.. trying so freakin hard to just SEE the tutor.. but that simply makes me try 100 times harder n concentrate 100 times more~~
and thats not the point
the most amazing part is
getting to see them dance LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i thought they were DOPE in youtube... but in live.. HELLOOOOOO?!?!?! UNREALLLLL!!!!
the cheers n screams really came from within.... its not just those "u-hv-to-cheer-so-u-cheered" kinda thing... i cheered coz it really so so breath-taking-ly gd!!
n i wanna say.. these ladies r really inspirational ppl.. if u know what i mean...
what they said in class/sharing sessions... really did clicked in my head...
don't loose the passion for dance. dance for money vs dance for passion
make gd use of class time to overcome ur stage fright
to dance outside the box
to think positive
improvements don't come in a day... it take many little steps to go up there
never loose sight of ur goal
work off the vibe of ur crewmates/frds
if u mess up, just laugh it out, shrug it out, humiliate urself, n do it again
(and the list goes onnnn)
*sigh* i must say i m pretty pissed off coz i couldn't take the last 2 classes of this workshop coz of a stupid show..... coz if i had.. i would hv gotten 4 free classes at debbie reynolds n a SIGNED tshirt!!!!!
but sometimes its these little imperfections that makes a thing memorable (or m i just saying this to make myself feel better.... lol)
yet thx again essence ladies for bringing us so much
if u asked me if i hv "danced better" after this workshop? probably not
but this experience has been so amazing
i m just one of the tiny dots in class... not one of the shining stars....
maybe the 4 of them dont' even really know i was there...
but just looking at them dance.. n listening to them
hv truly inspired me to become a better dancer~~~
ok this is starting to get corny.... so i should stop now.....
LUV GIGI
LUV APRIL
LUV CLARIZCEL
LUV JANET
LUV ESSENCEEEEE
LUV DANCEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
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| just back from flora's show.....
so just wanna post the lyrics of this song...
n i really hope you will take some time n read it
n start to appreciate who you are
Freckles Natasha Bedingfield
I used to care so much about what others think about
Almost didn't have a thought of my own
The slightest remark would make me embark
On the journey of self doubt
But that was a while ago
This girl has got stronger
If I knew then what I know now
I would have told myself don't worry any longer it's OK
[Chorus:]
'cause a face without freckles is like a sky without stars
Why waste a second not loving who you are
Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable,
They show your personality inside your heart
Reflecting who you are
Who you are
Who you are
Who you are
I wondered if I could trade my body with somebody else in magazines
Would the whole world fall at my feet?
I felt unworthy and would blame my failures on the ugliness I could see
When the mirror looked at me
Sometimes I feel like the little girl who doesn't belong in her own world
But I'm getting better
And I'm reminding myself
[Chorus]
Reflecting who you are
Reflecting who you are
Hmmm
Whoooooo whoa hmmmm oooooo
[Chorus]
just love who you are
its the imperfections that make us who we are
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| assumption
ppl always assume things
based on their past experiences, or simply their personal stubbornness....
street dancing.... related to a group of young ppl..
related to heavy bass music..
or sometimes related to late nights
or getting home at 3am, 4am
and that jumps to a conclusion of "bad"
why is waking up late assumed as "lazy"?
maybe some ppl wake up at 1pm coz they didn't sleep till 7am (so thats 6hrs sleep)
whilst some ppl wake up at 7am r seen as "hardworking" but maybe they slept at like 10pm (9hrs sleep baby)
and why is staying up late is being assumed as "bad"?
whats so bad about hving a life at night instead of day?
isn't that just another way of life? is there really a "good" or "bad" to it?
as i've said a billion times before
there is ALWAYS 2 sides to a story
n if one is only willing to believe in their own version
n can't even open their minds to a teeny tiny possibility that somehow there is another explanation
then what can i say?
jumping to conclusions
judging others
something to think about |
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| i'm reading a book... n came across this:
"Why was it that no mater what a woman accomplished in the world. if she hadn't married and had children, she was still considered a failure?"
this.. my frd.. is context of the modern society
ha |
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| final event of our jong.... Annual Performance....
honestly... this hv left a mark in the danso memory.... n not a very pretty one....
a lot of ppl have high expectations for us this year... that our AP will be a gd one
even i hv high expectations for ourselves..... Cudanso's name hasn't been very gd for the past few years.. n its only until recently that ppl's respect are coming back.......
but there's a chinese saying... for a gd event... one will need 天時, 地理, 人和
n we hv none.....
i'm disappointed that we hv to be the 1st U to hv AP.. which is only 1 month after IVDC
i'm disappointed that we can't book a better hall.... altho i know hving SRR is already the best we could get...
i'm disappinted that kei bo can't be our MC..
i'm disappointed that tony can't be our SM....
there are just soooo many things that could hv been better....
but with such obstacles....
we still hv to try our best... i still want our show to be gd.. to live up to ppl's expectation.....
but
stage rehearsal day was messy as hell.... everything went wayyyyyyyyy overtime....
i just feel frustrated... everything seems so well planned before... i actually checked the rundown for the stage rehearsal day beforehand.. n thought that everything will be ok.... but apprently it all fell apart...... we assumed too many things... but now i've learned.. we cannot assume anything....
on show day was a little better (thx to everyone who put in their suggestions.. esp faifai's extremely long sms-es!!!muahz) but that fxxking lightman was late for 1 freakin hour.... makes everything delay again....><... i was still in finale rehearsals when uguest starts turning up.. but i was supposed the one who takes them to their room!!!!! at that moment... coudln't think straight.. just feel frustrated.. seems nth was going along as planned.....
n the rundown.. thx for whoever that spotted the problem... i looked thru the onshow rundown many times beforehand... but never spotted the problem....>< n holy moly that caused CHAOS... i was with the uguests at that moment.... when 1000000 ppl were finding me.. said there was a problem in rundown.... so i was just running here n there.... trying to fix the rundown.. n trying to satisfy the guests....>< mentally strained as HELL... the frustration accumulated in those 2 days were just going to BURST!!!
finally the show was on... when the curtains parted for opening.... i was disappinted again.. the hall was half empty.. i wanna hit myself coz as a jong member i only sold 12 tickets.... at that moment all i could think of is "y do i hv so little frds?? how come no one will come..." looking at the empty seats... i just try to forget n dance... coz its already too late............. all i could do was to dance to my best.....
yet
opening.... i KNOW i didn't dance well.. mentally n physically not prepared... lost my balance in quite a few spots...><
faijai's piece... the zipper of costume broke... n i just feel i wasn't dancing to my best.........
IVDC: sth happened right before that just made me not in the mood anymore.. but then this is my favorite piece of dance.. n it was the last time that i'm going to perform it!!! it still hurts when i think back now........ that i wasn't at my best when i performed this piece for the very last time...>< plus its just frustrating that due to the small stage + backstage.. a lot of things couldn't be done perfectly..... >< but i really wanted it to be perfect....
rock's piece... i'm sry that i broke down... i was standing backstage... n suddenly all these frustration was just overwhelming... i just told 77... "i feel i didn't dance well in ANY piece so far"... then i just broke down... coz already.. there were so many mistakes in admin stuff.. dance should be the only thing that i'm gd at.. it should be my "comfort zone".. but EVEN that i've managed to screw it up.... at that moment i just feel i've disappinted a lot of ppl.... so i cried.. n couldn't stop...>< i know a lot of ppl were surprised n dunno whats going on... i'm sry.... i'll learn how to control myself better...><
finale: when we were waiting backstage listening to angel's words... kept crying again...(toldya i've become this cry baby after IVDC...==").... don't want to finish our jong in such a note... in such imperfections..................
After the show.... actually don't want to see any choreographers... coz i know once i start talking i'll cry again....>< i really wanted to hv danced better....................... just feel so disappinted to myself as well....><
thats y ha jong... really add oil in next year AP....
coz it will be the last event u hold as a jong member
n if there is 遺憾 there's nth u can do to delete it....
but i don't want to sound so negative.....
overall its still been an unforgettalbe experience...
n i hope all of u who r reading this would hv enjoyed the show as well!!!! |
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